A Crappy Situation: The First Postpartum Poop

The first postpartum poop is probably the second hardest thing (dare I say, Number 2??) you will doo-doo when welcoming a child into this world. I am sorry but the puns are many and they just keep running. 😉

But seriously, it’s one of the scariest things I faced postpartum and I was shocked how few articles/blogs there are out there on it. I have two children which means I have faced the toilet twice and have come out victorious with a scream of “I POOPED!!” so I hope I have some advice that is helpful to you!

Also, if you know me in real life and talking about poop, birth, or suppositories bothers you… you should move along because this is about to get real. Also, if your postpartum poop was a breeze you are very blessed…and may also leave.

I still joke with my husband that I pushed longer and harder with my postpartum poops than I did with each of my deliveries. So… basically, I deserve a push present right?? I may have even shed more tears if we’re honest… just sayin’.

With my first, I went 5 days without pooping before I started to realize we were about to face a pooptrastophe. I began to realize why they recommended stool softeners in the hospital. Silly, silly me.

By day 5, I was eating high fiber vegetables and fruits like there was no tomorrow. I tried Miralax. I tried stool softeners. But I waited too long. Day 6, I called my doctor worried I still hadn’t pooped.

I mean, some hospitals don’t let you leave without pooping but here I am a week postpartum and STILL NO POOP. What gives? They finally recommended *GULP* a suppository. Which after 2 hours, I was finally poop-free but it felt like I was pooping out shards of glass. OUCH, not to mention if you already have hemorrhoids. 🙁

I do NOT recommend that. I wasn’t at a point that I felt like I wanted to see what was going on down there so my ~~sweet~~ poor husband had to do the suppository part. I worry about the things he saw down there 😛

Second time around, STILL 5 DAYS without pooping BUT the poop itself wasn’t bad at all. I guess my bowels just take that long to get back to normal, plus that fear factor is huge. This time around though, first thing I asked my nurse for after having the baby was for some Colace. I have taken it religiously since giving birth. I didn’t wait 5 days like I did the last time.

I did stock up on fiber-rich food. By day 5, I was getting nervous about my poop problem so I started drinking Metamucil 3 times a day and drank pepsi/prune juice. I was prepared to face that toilet when the time came. By the evening of day 5, we had company over (figures) and I knew it was time.

I had an episiotomy again with my second so again there were stitches. There were hemorrhoids and I was terrified of what was to come. But it had to be done. My goal was to poop on my own without those suppositories.

After our company left, I took a warm shower to help relax me. I shut the door and locked my toddler out. My husband’s only job for the time being was to watch our kids so I could poop in peace (or as peaceful as that could actually be).

It was GO-TIME.

To combat the “my vagina feels like it is legit going to fall out and my stitches will split” feeling, I applied counter pressure with a towel I ran under warm water. A lot of it is a mind game of feeling like your stitches might burst open from the pressure (they won’t) and not really knowing WHERE you are even pushing. HELLOOOO, I just pushed out over 8 lbs of baby. Things are all stretched and confused down there. The counter pressure helped drastically.

At last, I finally pooped. I came out victorious and once again yelled, “I pooped!!” to which my husband genuinely celebrated with me (probably praising the Sweet Lord he didn’t have to insert another suppository). Compared to the first time, this was not that bad. Terrifying, yes. But totally survivable.

The first postpartum poop is up there with the reasons why I consider not having more kids… Then I get passed it. Each poop becomes less painful and I snuggle my baby and slowly forget the pain.

SURVIVING YOUR POSTPARTUM POOP:

Colace
Metamucil (once a day or more)
High Fiber Foods
Drinking a lot of water
Counter pressure (warm towel, ice pad, or Peri-Bottle)
RELAX (take a shower, shut the door, etc..)
Walk
Miralax (more desperate situations)
Suppository (SUPER desperate situations)

Also, some blogs that helped me laugh about this crappy situation and provided some relief. Okay, really, I am done with the puns now. 🙂 GOOD LUCK AND MAY THE ODDS BE IN YOUR FAVOR <3

5 Tips for Surviving That First Post-Labor Poop by Kate Baer

Post-Partum Poop: And You Thought The Hard Part Was Over by Scary Mommy

A Personal Victory: The First Postpartum Poop by Heather Hemmert

Xoxo,

Ashley